Transforming Discomfort into Entrepreneurial Triumph

This episode explores the vital role of discomfort in entrepreneurship, highlighting how embracing the uncomfortable can often lead to growth and connection. Amber, a success architect, shares her journey from a safe corporate life to an entrepreneurial path filled with learning and relationships, encouraging listeners to confront their fears and recognize that everyone experiences uncertainty.

• Understanding discomfort as a sign of growth 
• The biological basis behind safety mechanisms 
• Importance of challenging perceptions about security 
• Real-life examples of embracing risks in personal journeys 
• Building genuine connections in a "trust recession" 
• Practical strategies for reaching out and supporting others 
• Recognizing the commonality of discomfort in every entrepreneurial journey

Chapters

• 0:01 Embracing Uncomfortable Growth in Business
• 12:00 Embracing Discomfort for Entrepreneurial Success
• 20:20 Building Genuine Relationships for Business Success
• 32:16 Navigating Uncomfortable Growth in Business
• 37:33 Connecting for Growth and Success

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Elevate Media podcast with your host, chris Anderson. In this show, chris and his guests will share their knowledge and experience on how to go from zero to successful entrepreneur. They have built their businesses from scratch and are now ready to give back to those who are just starting. Let's get ready to learn, grow and elevate our businesses. And now your host, chris Anderson.

Speaker 2: 0:25

Welcome back to another recording of the Elevate Media Podcast. I'm Chris Anderson, your host and all of those out there listening. You're on your journey to build a successful business. Some of you still have your nine to five job and you might be feeling a little you know something in the background Like am I doing the right thing? Why is this so hard? Why do I feel uncomfortable sometimes? And that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to be talking about the uncomfortableness of entrepreneurship and how that's okay and how that can be indicators that you're on the right path to success. And so we're bringing on an expert in her field today. She's a recovering attorney, an author, a speaker, a success architect and podcaster. She's out of Las Vegas. You're gonna have to look her up after the show and find out more about her, because she's done so much amazing things and helping a lot of people. But, amber, welcome to the show today.

Speaker 3: 1:23

Thank you so much for having me, and this happens so often, I don't know why, where you're just about to talk and then you feel like you're going to get the biggest sneeze attack of your life. So forgive me if that comes out, but if we're talking about imperfection and uncomfortableness, there is nothing more uncomfortable than doing everything you can to hold in a sneeze while somebody's doing your intro, so they don't have to redo it. So I'm so happy to be here.

Speaker 2: 1:48

Well, hey, we're grateful for you to be here. And you know that's life right, that's part of you know, building a business, having a life in general. You just can't control everything and you just kind of roll with the punches or the sneezes, I guess.

Speaker 3: 2:01

Or the sneezes. Sometimes they feel like punches.

Speaker 2: 2:05

Right, the punches or the sneezes, I guess. Or the sneezes. Sometimes they feel like punches, right, absolutely. And a lot of things as we're building businesses can feel like punches, you know, and that uncomfortableness that comes with those. You know why do you? We're going to dive right into it. You know why is being uncomfortable Okay, why is taking those punches kind of a good thing sometimes, in your opinion?

Speaker 3: 2:25

Yeah, so I'm going to go back, so I'm going to give you the scientific answer and then we can dig into my story if you want. There was a study done a while back I can't remember where it was from that talked about our response to stress, our fight, flight or freeze responses, and biologically, we have warning systems in our body that are meant to protect us from danger, and that danger, when we were evolving, was life-threatening things that were literally trying to kill us. Right? And as society has become safer, and as society has become safer, we no longer have to worry about the fight, flight, I'm sorry we no longer have to worry about, like the saber-toothed tiger that's outside of our cave. Our biological responses and our stress responses are still the same. So our brain is designed to keep us safe.

Speaker 3: 3:26

We have this part of our mind called the unconscious mind, or subconscious mind, as some people call it, that is designed to keep us safe and when it doesn't know what a situation is going to look like, it says I know that this situation that we're in right now might not be great, it might not be what we want to be doing, but I know how to protect you here when we step outside of that. Our brain says I don't know what it looks like on the other side of this wall and I don't know how to protect you there, so your fight, flight or freeze response kicks in. One of my absolute favorite quotes that used to live on my wall, because if you walk in my house it looks like a bachelor pad, a college bachelor pad. I've got shit written on the wall. It's a beautiful mind style and one of my favorite quotes is don't give up your peace, because chaos is comfortable.

Speaker 3: 4:19

So often what happens is we say I want to make a million dollars, but I don't know what it feels like to not be broke. I don't know what it feels like to have money. I want to be in a relationship with somebody, but I don't know what it feels like to be supported. I know what it feels like to be alone and to rely on myself all the time. I want to start a new business, but I don't know what it feels like to be in control of that. I don't know what it looks like.

Speaker 3: 4:43

So our brain says know what it feels like to be in control of that. I don't know what it looks like. So our brain says let me tell you all the reasons that this could fail. And then we're going to kick in that biological response that you either run from it, you freeze and do nothing, or that fight comes up and then you're aggressive and standoffish. Right, because to our unconscious mind, danger is danger, right, you know, you just have that big flash of danger, will Robinson, right?

Speaker 3: 5:12

So it's a safety mechanism for our brain to keep us safe, and the more that we can challenge that and the more that we can show our unconscious mind that we can trust ourselves to protect ourselves in situations, the more that we can love that part of us that is trying to keep us safe and acknowledge that a lot of the things it's telling us are complete bullshit, the more that we can reach out and try new things which is why I titled the book Break your Bull, your bullshit box, because that's really what it is is a safety container where all of the things that are meant to keep us safe live and we get to say I hear you, I love you and appreciate you for attempting to keep me safe, and this is how we're going to do it anyways yeah, and I think that's that's a good thing, because you know you hear obstacles away, you know everything you want is on the other side of fear, all that, all those kinds of uh, those sayings, and I think it's true a lot of the times.

Speaker 2: 6:14

Obviously, there there are moments where, um, you have to heed to those responses. But I think, more or less in business, I find more benefit of of going through those uncomfortable situations, even if they don't pan out as I thought they would. Um, because I learned so much from it or I meet so many people through it. Um, and I think that's that's the beauty of it as well, because I heard you know, early on, new levels, new dev. Because I heard you know early on new levels, new devils. So, as you're, you know, succeeding as you're growing, there's just going to be different hard things that you have to go through and accomplish, and so that never changes.

Speaker 3: 6:55

No, and I wish, like I wish, I could be the type of person that would come on your show and say I have never questioned being a business owner or an entrepreneur. But those people are lying right there. There have been, I mean sometimes like three or four times a day. My God, can I just get a bartending application and go work?

Speaker 3: 7:16

I mean, I'm in Vegas, I can make a ton of money bartending, and that's how I worked my way through law school, so I got it covered. It's like riding a bike. And then I think what am I going to do on a Saturday afternoon when I want to go networking, or I want to go travel, or there's a conference I want to go to and I have to be working right? So pick my hard pick. My problem is, I would rather push through the struggles that come along with business owner and entrepreneurship, then let my schedule ever be controlled by another human being. It's not for everybody, though. Some people would rather pick the nine to five. I just encourage you to think about the purpose of picking that, because a lot of people I mean I stayed in a nine to five for a long time because it was safe. Right, but it's a perception of safety.

Speaker 3: 8:06

I think, COVID showed us that there are no unimpenetrable businesses that you're subject to being laid off at any point in time, so you might as well be in control of what you're doing with your time, how you're doing it, and this idea of let me go work for somebody else because it's safer is a fake safe.

Speaker 2: 8:28

Yeah, and I was just on a podcast the other day as a guest and we got onto this topic. I said, you know, I realized when I was in my nine to five, like nothing is safe. Like you, you think your job is safe, but and just the same thing, like COVID really showed that to a lot of people that it's not true. Like you could be laid off, fired in an instant, you could die unexpectedly. Then that's what led me to entrepreneurship is people in my life close to me unexpectedly pass away and people I knew.

Speaker 2: 8:58

And so, like I had to think, like you know, like it's going to be hard in a nine to five, because you know I can only make so much as an athletic trainer. Like you know my hours are going to be spent doing this for someone else or I. Could, you know, take that risk on me and have the the hard be not knowing what in the world I'm doing, starting a business, how to do it, how it's going to happen, but be able to set my schedule and grow. And no, no ceilings, no limbs for me, probably because I'm super stubborn and when people tell me I can't do something, I'm like I'll show you, I'll do it anyway.

Speaker 1: 9:31

It's so true.

Speaker 2: 9:33

So but yeah, I think you have to understand yourself because you know business is great, amazing. Businesses can't succeed without those people in the nine to five positions who bring their talents and skills, who just can't. They're not as risk tolerant, I guess we could say versus others, but they play such an impactful part. You just have to understand where you fit, like, what life you want. Where does that fit? What does that look like?

Speaker 3: 9:59

And I think that a lot of businesses are getting better at acknowledging that and making a nine to five feel more like a business ownership opportunity. Right, when I work with corporations in doing team leadership activities and things to that effect, oftentimes I'll have some of the leaders come to me and say I want to restructure our benefits package. What would you suggest that? I add, and I'm like I don't work for you, like ask the people who work for you what they want. Like have you asked them? And they're like well, no, I want to do like these massage packages and maybe you know, some extra time off packages, and I'm like that all sounds great, but I bet if you pulled them, all they want is the ability to make their own schedule. So you're spending all of this money on all of these extra things that they're not going to want, that they don't use, that they don't have time to use, because you've got them working 40 hours a week in a office that's unnecessary, when what they want is to feel trusted and in control of their own schedule and appreciated and relied upon for their job. So think of ways that you can do that for your people and I feel like with and this is one of the things I love about the millennial and the Gen Z environment is, you know, the older millennials, gen Xers, boomers, are like man.

Speaker 3: 11:15

Those people don't know how to work. No, they do. They just work different, right? They don't subscribe to the same bullshit that we were raised on, which is you're going to do whatever it is to get the job done. You're going to work as long as it takes to get it done. Instead, they're like I'm going to work as long as you're paying me to get it done, and then whatever doesn't get done is your responsibility. There's so many business owners that are like I can't believe you'd be like that. Well, I can't believe that you wouldn't pay your people. So we got different issues, right.

Speaker 1: 11:52

I want to.

Speaker 3: 11:52

I want to jump back just a little bit to this, to this comfort zone conversation, though, because I think that it's so important and I just want to share that. My my journey really started with getting uncomfortable. Before I ever thought about being a business owner, I was struggling with panic attacks. I was struggling with anxiety attacks because I had built my perfect life. I had the six-figure income, I had the law degree, I had everything that was supposed to make my life better, and when it didn't, I started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety attacks and somehow, through the perfect storm of circumstances, I got invited to workouts in the park, which led to obstacle course racing, which led to 24-hour Tough Mudders and pushing myself farther than I ever thought I could, both physically and mentally. All of this was going on in 2016 into 2017. It was the end of 2017 that I made the decision to open my own business, and a lot of that came from this physical fitness that I had been doing. I told myself I'm not an athlete, and then I just ran an equivalent of a marathon in a 24-hour period, with obstacles, in the mud, without sleeping. I had done 24 Tough Mudders at that point in time, and you start thinking what else am I lying to myself about? So I wanted to give, like this practical piece of advice, that we have a phrase in the Tough Mudder community of when was the last time you did something for the first time? And I kind of want your people to sit in that for a minute.

Speaker 3: 13:26

If you're listening to this show and you're thinking, what do I do to start getting comfortable being uncomfortable, think about something that you can do that's new every single day. Is it a sales call? Is it going on a solo date with yourself? Is it going and eating dinner or lunch in a restaurant alone when maybe you've been uncomfortable being alone in places? Is it going and eating dinner or lunch in a restaurant alone when maybe you've been uncomfortable being alone in places? Is it?

Speaker 3: 13:49

I mean, I stopped my car in the middle of the road yesterday at a stoplight and went and knocked on somebody's window to tell them their gas tank was open. There were a hundred other cars on the road and everybody saw it. Nobody was willing to get out of their car. That was a new thing for me. Do you think I wasn't self-conscious about? What are people thinking about? This crazy woman that's walking down the middle of a busy street at a red light. But those things like introducing yourself to somebody at a grocery store, going to a networking event, doing a new workout at the gym, whatever it is pick one thing that is new for you, that you've never done before, and push through the uncomfortable of it and you'll start to really to realize and to train your brain that it doesn't have to be afraid of things that are new.

Speaker 2: 14:32

Yeah, I love that. I think that's a great thing that we can start implementing is like, what's one little thing different today? Maybe send a message you know to someone that you would want to connect with for whatever reason, podcast business, all that, you know. I like that. I like the solo thing going out. Can you go just sit by yourself and eat and fight through that awkwardness a little bit. At first it's funny.

Speaker 2: 14:54

I went to Niagara Falls when I was in college on Easter break and I had a couple of friends that were supposed to go with me. Then they backed out last minute. I was like, well, forget you guys, I'm still going. I want to see niagara falls like never been. So I drove up there canadian side, uh and was just enjoying it. I was on my own. You know, go around taking pictures of it by myself. I went to the top of the little tower that spins while you eat nicer place, you have to dress up for it got a table by myself, had lamb by myself while these people were on dates all around me and like it was awkward at first. It was like really like I felt the sweat starting on my forehead a little bit as people were looking at me, like you get stood up, and I was just like no, like this is cool, I'm enjoying the moment, uh, and stuff like that.

Speaker 2: 15:36

Like obviously you don't have to take a trip to niagara falls, but you could do it in your town and it's such a good you could, absolutely could, and so there is so much truth to be able to do these even small things that are uncomfortable daily that just help so much with growth.

Speaker 3: 15:56

I love traveling alone and my mom I think I'm a walking panic attack. To my mom, Like my entire lifestyle sends her into a spiral. She worries about me every single day because she never knows where I'm going to be and, from somebody who is a planner, she'll call me and be like where are you going? This weekend? I'm going to Nashville for a little bit. When are you coming back? Whenever I get back, I mean, I don't have an in-person meeting for the next six weeks, so sometime between now and mid-March, I don't know. And she's like I don't understand how you do that. When I started allowing myself to travel alone and I started allowing myself to energetically be open to conversation, you meet the coolest people when you travel alone.

Speaker 3: 16:43

And just understanding that, like you may never interact with this person ever again. Yet that 45 minutes that you have in the airport while you're waiting for your flight, or the two hours on the plane while you're going to your destination, or the dinner that you have alone when you sit at the bar and then you strike up conversation with somebody, those moments are so important, even though they're not long-term relationships.

Speaker 2: 17:11

Yeah, and those are some of the coolest conversations you meet, some of the like everyone's story matters. I truly believe everyone's story matters. Everyone's here for a reason and a purpose, and so being able to connect with someone just randomly and hearing a little bit about them and where they're from or whatever it might be, it's just so cool to me, uh, which probably when I started the podcast, one of the reasons, um, I just want to talk to new people and learn from them and things. But yeah, it really, and it widens your worldview too, and you don't know what piece of information they're going to tell you. That is going to help you learn your mind. Yeah, or blow your mind, and you know it's just crazy, um, the opportunity so many people miss because we're too much.

Speaker 2: 17:52

You know, interphones paying attention down here instead of the world around us, and uh, so so, with these things, why is it so important, then, for entrepreneurs to to lean into the discomfort more and more for that success?

Speaker 3: 18:09

So I think that first of all, I want to go back to the way that our brains are programmed right. So we build a worldview based upon the way that our brains are programmed, and this is what I teach, train and coach under. It's called neurolinguistics programming. It's an understanding of the way that your views and your life experiences have dictated the way that you see the world. So we all kind of go through our lives seeing the world in a certain way.

Speaker 3: 18:35

I spent 14 years as a criminal defense attorney and before I found NLP, I would look at a police report. There'd be 10 witnesses. They would have 10 different statements and I didn't understand how it happened until I understood that they all have different worldviews. Different things are important to them. They've trained their brain to focus on different elements of an event and that's what they remembered.

Speaker 3: 18:57

So the biggest thing is this this phrase of blow your mind it's it, think of it as like an actual blow your mind right, like your mind exists in a certain understanding of the world and then something happens that is outside of your understanding of the world, that makes you think I didn't know that was actually possible, or I didn't know that things like that existed, and now I have to reconcile what just happened with my understanding of belief of how the world exists, and so the more we can put ourselves in experiences that challenge what we think about the world and the way that we show up in it, the broader our understanding of our own awareness can be, which gives us the ability to see experience and be aware of bigger opportunities and other options that we couldn't see before. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 19:58

Yeah, absolutely. It's almost like you get to the point where you're like, yes, we're making six figures a year in business, this is awesome. And then you talk to someone who's making six figures a month and it's like whoa.

Speaker 3: 20:10

Spending six figures a month on ad spend and you're like you spend more on ad spend in a month than I make in a year.

Speaker 3: 20:18

Let me give you a real life example. So 2020, my story and I'm very open about this is I in the past have really struggled with connection, really struggled with relationships, and a lot of that comes from what my first therapist identified as an abandonment disorder, because people in my life you talked about grief and people passing away, and that's been my experience between the ages of seven and 18, I went to 10 funerals and I didn't know that what that was doing to my understanding of the world is that relationships aren't worth building. People don't stick around. Everybody's going to leave. So for me, relationships were always surface level and this is still something that I have to consciously work at to say wait a minute, this person wants to hear from me. I'm important.

Speaker 3: 21:09

So 2020, my dog died and I was devastated, and a mutual friend of ours he got on a plane and flew across the country to take me to lunch, just to go back that next morning in Vegas for less than 24 hours, just so that he could show me that he was there for me, that he cared and that I was important and that I mattered. I didn't know people did that. I didn't know relationships like that existed Then fast forward. So my mind is blown right. I'm like people don't do this. They don't get on the plane and fly literally across the country from the East Coast to Vegas, just to take somebody to lunch so they know that they're not alone because a pet died right. Take somebody to lunch so they know that they're not alone because a pet died right. And then fast forward six or seven months and I had a friend of mine who was in a really, really dark spot and my former version of the world might have been let them know that you're here for them, send them a text message. Don't be too invasive. If they want you there, they'll ask you to come.

Speaker 3: 22:21

Yet my understanding of what relationships could be had just been completely transformed by this experience. So instead I got a plane ticket, I flew to Georgia, I stood on this person's front porch, knocked on the door and made sure that they knew that they weren't alone. That is something I wouldn't have been capable of doing if somebody hadn't done it for me first and if I hadn't been open to creating that relationship. So the more that we put ourselves in situations where we allow people to show us the way that things can be different, we become better friends, better human beings, better business owners, better leaders, so that we can then meet our goals. Because I think it's fair to say for almost everybody on the planet that our goals whether you show it as money, whether you show it as being able to hire a bunch of people, whatever it comes out as in words, at the deepest, darkest parts of our personality it's about connection and what we can do for other people our personality.

Speaker 2: 23:25

It's about connection and what we can do for other people. Yeah, yeah, I agree, I think and that's a great thing to like I just listened to a speaker yesterday at a networking events and they were mentioning kind of that like how can we go through the discomfort of showing an exceptional service? So it was, you know, it was a hr, regional, regional HR guy from Chick-fil-A here in Indiana. But he was saying, like how can we, how can we go above and beyond? Basically, even if it's uncomfortable for us, like what can we do to leave that resonating memory with individuals so they know, you know, that they're not alone in the situation, or that you know we truly care more than just you know, a food chain, um, and it's kind of like that, like, and I love that, and like for me it's like how can I do that?

Speaker 2: 24:10

and I, I try to, you know, write hand letters, like handwritten letters, um, and send to people as a thank you, or, you know, follow up in that way, um, not asking for anything, not asking for business, just as a hey, thank you for this, or I saw you doing this, or whatever. Here's this, this for encouragement, um, like I just mailed a book and a letter to someone today. It's like how can we do that? And like it's uncomfortable for me. I'm like, are they going to make fun of my writing? Are they going to like even care? Like, like it's just like internal things where it's like no, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3: 24:41

Like cause internal things where it's like no, it doesn't matter, like, because it doesn't matter if all that negative happens, like the one good thing could come from it and that's the most important thing. Um, yeah, absolutely I try and I'm I'm getting better at it. Uh, I'm picking five to ten people at every event that I go to and, um, writing like I'll keep a list of okay, this person did this during the weekend that we were there and that made me feel good. Or I saw somebody do this when I was sharing that experience of telling the person that their gas tank was open. As I was walking back to my car, three different cars honked and gave me like a thumbs up. Like that was really cool of you to do right.

Speaker 3: 25:21

People see, people notice, and so when I, when I pick those five to 10 people that I want to follow up with and then get their address, I used to be so afraid Like I'm going to reach out and ask this person for their mailing address. Their first thought is going to be I'm not giving some psycho, I just met at a conference. My mailing address or phone numbers, like I used to never keep anybody's phone number. So the first time I was at an event and I thought, well, what's your phone number? I'll just message you. I was like they're not going to give me their number. You would be shocked how many people just hand out their mailing address and their phone number to me and then I send them a card and nine out of those 10 cards might get thrown in the trash. But there might be that one card that somebody opens and says this was really freaking cool, thank. But there might be that one card that somebody opens and says this was really freaking cool.

Speaker 2: 26:05

Thank you, yeah, yeah, and I think those are the moments like and that makes it kind of all worth it Like going through those hard moments, going through the discomfort, because then it's, it's like it gives you that kind of dopamine, like that felt, that felt good. I'm glad I was able to do that and then next time it's not as difficult. It still might have some friction there, um, but just like anything, practice, you know, doing it over and over, repetitive, it's going to make it easier to do it. Uh, cause you're, they're building us pathways and then there's less resistance from it, and so, um, and you'll see, you'll see benefits in all sides of your business and life If you continue to do things like that.

Speaker 3: 26:41

Agreed, and if your business relies on relationships which, if your business is a business, it relies on relationships. If your business relies on relationships, there was a study done recently that coined the term trust recession, that we're in a trust recession right now that people are so over being sold for things. They're so over, especially now, like I bet, if you opened your Facebook messenger right now, you have at least 10 or 15 message requests in your spam of people who have no contact with you, have never messaged you before, know nothing about you but are 100% sure that their product or service is going to solve the problems that they know nothing about. Right, and I'm not against messaging people. I'm not against a DM strategy. I'm against a mass DM strategy with no relationship building. Right, I host live events that then have an upsell at the end of them for additional support, and we found that the ratio of people who will enroll in those on that first offer has gone down significantly because of this trust recession.

Speaker 3: 27:51

So when you do things like this to show people that you care and it cannot be fake people can see fake a million miles away. It can be automated in a way of like I have reminders that you know, when I talk to somebody 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, I'll get a reminder. Hey, it's time to follow up with this person. You can use the tools and resources that you have to remind yourself that something is important, but you can't be fake. And and the more you do this, the more people will want to work with you because they see you as a real person who cares about them. But right now, that initial webinar to sell event to sell cold DM to sell is just not effective because people don't trust it.

Speaker 2: 28:41

Yeah, and I think we're going to see even more of that trust slowing down, building the trust building slowing down due to AI and avatars and you know things like that, because they're going to people are going to start leaning on that more to make more content, to push more content out there quicker, and it's going to be even less personable because it's going to be fake, right, and that's why, like we lean, we're leaning to help people, you know, build that brand story presence through actual video themselves and live streaming themselves or events, because it opens up the door and helps build that trust even more.

Speaker 2: 29:17

And I think, yeah, and it's going to be more uncomfortable because you're not going to be able to use something that's fake or superficial. You're going to have to get a little bit more raw and personal, and that's why I think even bigger companies are going to have to start utilizing things like this, the ones who aren't Apple or Tesla, that are just in the public eye all the time. I truly think bigger companies, their C-suite level, are going to have to start showing their face more and they're going to have to start engaging, through live streams and things, with their market, but they already do.

Speaker 3: 29:52

Right, we already see it. Social media platforms are blowing up and I think we forget that, like your Amazons, your Teslas, your Apples, they are that because they went through this process. Right Now, granted, when you have the money that has bees in front of it instead of you know dollars you can pay people to be the parts of your company that build that trust for you Right, but it still has to be built.

Speaker 3: 30:22

You know, I was at a networking event this morning and one of the speakers and I'm incorporating this into my business, like immediately today, because one of my struggles has always been reaching out and calling people because of my connection issues that I'm working on I always think like I don't want to be a burden to this person, but when has your phone ever rang from somebody you've met at a conference and you thought, man, like I don't want to hear from that person? You're always like, oh my God, somebody other than a bill collector or somebody other than somebody selling me money or selling me something called me Right. So this person at this networking event says the biggest thing that changed my business is I incorporated gas calls and I was like what the hell is a gas call? And she's like it's a give a shit call. She's like so once a quarter I call my clients just to let them know that I give a shit.

Speaker 3: 31:13

And I thought I am incorporating give a shit calls into my business, right, like what, who can I call just to let them know that I was thinking about them and that care, because I do right, I care so much about my clients and sometimes it doesn't, and not even my clients, the people in my circle, the people that I meet at conferences, and sometimes that doesn't get portrayed the way that it should because I in the past allowed my fear to keep me from making those just because calls those calls that say I don't have anything to sell you or give you or offer you except for the fact that you matter.

Speaker 2: 31:50

Yeah, yeah, I think that's super important, um, and such a cool thing, something we try to incorporate and I could definitely do better at this, cause it's not as frequent as um, maybe not calling, but like doing a short little video like, hey, I'm just checking out. I you know, I saw you do this, post this recently, whatever have this like that was, you know, looked amazing. Congrats on that. I hope you're doing well, just thinking about you kind of thing and not ask for anything, not do anything like that, and just kind of send those as well. I think again, either way, just breaking through everyone's you know day-to-day activities and making them feel good. It's just like if you were to get a like a legit package in the mail, like we get so many just bill collections or stuff that goes right in the trash. It's like that's like a whole whoa, like that's, that's kind of neat.

Speaker 2: 32:35

Like taking time to do that, and so how can we break through the uncomfortableness of doing those things um for the benefit of others?

Speaker 3: 32:44

Yeah, and you know there's this phrase that floats around that gets some hate, um, that how you do one thing is how you do everything, and I 100% agree with this. But in order to agree with it, you've got to take it a little bit higher level, cause when you look at it in the weeds, of course, how I live in my relationships does isn't the same as how I clean my house and how I run my business isn't the same as how I might travel right. Like the actions are different. I was just talking to somebody about this the other day. When you, when you take it a little bit higher up and you say what's preventing me from doing something that's uncomfortable? What am I procrastinating? How am I showing up in a space of service? Is there something that I'm afraid of? Those things go into every area of your life and in that aspect, how you do one thing is how you do everything. So if you have a problem having uncomfortable conversations with your staff, I can guarantee you have a problem having uncomfortable conversations with your spouse. If you have a problem reaching out and letting somebody know that you care about them in this, just because calls that we're talking about, then I promise you, you have connection issues in your personal life. If you have a time management issue in your business, I promise you you have a time management issue in your personal life. So I would encourage you, if you're listening to this and you're saying like, where can I start in understanding what it is that that could shift, start paying attention to your behaviors, start paying attention to what you're avoiding.

Speaker 3: 34:13

Um, I use a planner and I ended up creating it because I couldn't find one that had everything I wanted in it.

Speaker 3: 34:19

Um, and the agenda style of it is it has a line down the middle of it, so every page has an agenda on it, and on the left side, I plan my day down to as close to the 30 minute period as I can. What tasks am I going to do? Where the magic happens is on the right hand side. I take accountability for my day and what it allows me to do is if I've got sales calls and for a week in a row I have found something more important to do than those sales calls. But I get to step back and ask myself, like, what am I afraid of? What am I avoiding? What was the purpose of not holding myself to my commitment here. You're starting to get really curious about what the actual purpose is for your behavior in your life, your business, your health, in everything. And I can promise you this conversation about uncomfortableness is going to come into play when you start to get the answers to those questions.

Speaker 2: 35:15

Absolutely, and yeah, this has been a great conversation and I think a lot of people can listen to this and realize it's normal. It's okay to have this friction in your business of feeling uncomfortable when you're trying to grow and expand and do something different, as your internal self is trying to keep you safe, or what it perceives as safe, and so like you're not alone. So everyone at every level has dealt with this and still deals with it at different levels. We just don't let it stop us right.

Speaker 3: 35:45

I love to tell new business owners, if you're listening to this and you're like I don't know where to start, I don't know what to do. I wish I knew more. I want you, if you take nothing else from this episode, take this that nobody knows what they're doing Right At every level of where we go. We are just working to figure it out. We are, you know, throwing things at the wall, hoping that they stick, making sure that we try something, and then we pay attention to what works, what didn't. We hire mentors that can give us some guidance on what might work and what might not.

Speaker 3: 36:19

At the end of the day, though, it's our job to take action. So if you're sitting back there saying, I just don't know where to start, none of us did. None of us know what the hell we're doing, and then you get to that next level, and you have the same problems with getting to the next level. You have to act before you know how to act in order for you to figure out what acting looks like. So just take from this that everybody's uncomfortable. Nobody knows what they're doing. We're all doing our best to figure it out as we go, and surround yourself with people who are willing to acknowledge that and join you in the journey.

Speaker 2: 36:54

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, because every, every day brings in the newness of what now and what, what do I need to do and accomplish and how to do that. So, amber, this has been great. I appreciate your time and being on the show today. If people want to connect with you, find out more about you and learn from you, where's the best place for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 37:13

Yeah, absolutely so. You can go to successdevelopmentsolutionscom. My website's there. It has links to the podcast. There's the free Facebook group which is Break your Bullshit Box community, so you can join that and then the podcast as well. Break your Bullshit Box. You can listen to that. Reach out to me. I would love to connect with you. I would love to know what resonated with you or what didn't, and talk to you about kind of where you're at. So feel free to reach out and have a conversation.

Speaker 2: 37:45

Awesome. Well, yeah, everyone take her up on that, get connected, continue to learn from her and grow. But again, Amber, thanks so much for being on the LV Media Podcast today.

Speaker 3: 37:55

I am so thankful for it. Thanks for making the time for me.

Speaker 2: 37:58

Absolutely, and if you're listening to this and you got something out of it, make sure you're following the show, subscribe to it, leave us a review to let us know that you're still gaining what you need from it, so we can continue this going forward and share this episode with someone who's out there trying to become a different version of themselves or start a business, because together, in sharing, we can reach so many more people, and we appreciate everyone out there listening and sharing this among their networks. But until next time, continue to go out there, elevate your life, elevate your business, and we'll talk to you again soon.